On taking risks and settling…

I am a very risk-averse person. I try as much as possible to avoid risk. They say one of the most valuable traits of being a good entrepreneur is being a risk-taker. This is one of the reasons why I am not an entrepreneur yet. I always stay on the safe side. This may also be a good reason why I am not good at gambling.

In addition to my risk-averseness, a few of my close friends helped me realize that I am a settler. I never try to reach for something that seemed impossible to reach. Nor did I try to give every ounce of effort I’ve got to attain for something I really wanted. I am an expert in making good of whatever I have and being happy with that. I was always afraid that if I give my all and nothing came out of it, I would also loose everything. And so I don’t take risk and I settle.

A very good friend once made me realize that I don’t give everything that I have, I always leave something behind. For instance, when I work (I hope my bosses don’t get to read this), I do not give my all. So that when things don’t work out the way I planned, I don’t get devastated and I move on easily. On the other end, when things go right, I do not experience immeasurable happiness, I just become grateful and then I move on. I am the expert in the art of “kebs”. (from the Spanish word queber) This is also the reason why friends have told me that I do not have or experience extreme emotions.

But lately, I am having a different perspective on risk and settling. Risk became taking chances. It became putting your best foot forward and expecting for the best. I am ready to give everything that I have, no matter what other people might say. I no longer wanted to just settle. I wanted to be very happy, and in the process, make other people happy as well. I am learning to become more vulnerable, to put my defenses down so that I would get more opportunities to be happier.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not without doubts. I am afraid. I have never been this defenseless and vulnerable before. I know I could loose a lot. But people around me have taught me that in doing so, I could also gain a lot more.

I am no longer settling. I am beginning to take risks for what I want and for what I love. I don’t know what will happen in the future, I just hope that at some point, I find happiness.

Yun na! Pak!