I did not grow up listening to Mary Poppins. (I was too young for that.) But today, a line from her song "A Spoonful of Sugar" keeps playing in my head. I don't even know how the whole song goes. I just remember the lyrics..."just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down."
Why do I remember that you may ask? A friend once told me that my emotional capacity is just that of 2 teaspoons. (It used to be one and a half.) I was with a friend (a different friend) a while ago. She was sharing the complications of the relationship she is currently in. I listened and tried to comprehend what was happening. I gave her my take on the situation, which is mostly based on logic and comprehension. In Filipino, walang halong emosyon (no emotions involved).
After a few minutes, I realized how hard it is to comprehend human emotion. I am realizing that sometimes, you just feel; that it is possible to feel and not think. I realized that at this point, I did not have enough capacity to feel the emotion that my friend was feeling. Kung baga, kumota na ko. (It was like I reached my quota.) [Why am I translating everything in English? And why am I talking to myself now?]
I really do not know if this incapacity for strong emotions is a good thing or not. Well, maybe it protects me from all the hurt that several of my friends are experiencing. But on the other end, maybe it hinders me from experiencing extreme happiness. But I think for now, a spoonful of emotion is all that I can handle and is all that I need. Maybe I'll just make use of logic for those that my emotions cannot handle. And I hope that in time, that spoonful will become bigger.
At present, I think a spoonful of sugar can help the medicine go down. I'll just drink a lot of water after.
Yun na! Pak!
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